Film #3 - Why Girls Love Sailors (1927)

 

 

Starring Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy.

 

Featuring Viola Richard, Malcolm Waite, and Anita Garvin.

 

Directed by Fred Guiol.

 

Synopsis

"Show him your boat, Willie!"

 

 

 

 



The crew of the Merry Maiden have docked at the port of Sugar Bay. The first mate (Oliver Hardy) and the captain (Malcolm Waite) keep the rest of the crew on a tight leash - when they aren't too busy squabbling amongst themselves.

Nelly (Viola Richard) is in love with Willie Brisling (Stan Laurel). Goofy Willie gives little Nelly a necklace, and then plants a kiss on her cheek. Awwwwww.

Nelly is impressed by Little Willie's chain length.

   

Willie then gets really excited. So excited that he just has to roll around on the bed playing with his pillow and lick a lollipop (?!). Love makes us all do strange things.

The captain of the Merry Maiden peers through the window of Willie's house and spies Nelly inside. He barges in and grabs hold of Nelly, much to her disgust.

It seems as if the lecherous captain had taken a shine to Nelly the last time he was in town, and he isn't best pleased to find out that Willie, "the great periwinkle fisherman," is Nelly's fiancé.

Following Nelly's instructions, Willie shows the vulgar intruder the tattoo that he has on his chest of his boat.

The captain takes the opportunity to pour water down Willie's top.

A furious Nelly storms out of the house onto the porch, only for the big brute of a captain to lay his hands on her and drag her away to see his boat!

Willie makes a good attempt to rescue Nelly, but the captain gives him quite a beating and leaves him tangled in some fishing nets. Poor Nelly is then carried away by the captain.

Nelly is locked in a room on the ship, but not before Willie has managed to sneak aboard.

Rather scared aboard, Willie decides to pull his jumper over his head, thereby appearing headless. He successfully frightens one of the ship's crew who then complains to the first mate about the strange spectre.

Willie hides in a cabin and finds a chest full of costumes that once belonged to a theatre company. He decides that his best course of action is to dress up as a woman and get rid of the crew one-by-one!

In drag, Willie sets about seducing the crew of the Merry Maiden. He does so by luring the lustful sailors around a corner of the ship one at a time before knocking them out. Willie then leaves the sailors propped up near the first mate, who, after being antagonised by Willie, flings every one of the crew overboard.

Eventually, Willie is caught out by the first mate. The pair engage in some flirtatious behaviour, with Willie promising to give the first mate a big kiss if he will close his eyes.

Willie takes the opportunity to flee and discovers that the captain is trying forcefully to embrace Nelly.

Willie grabs the captain's attention by flirting with him through the porthole, and the salacious captain shoves Nelly in another apartment, apparently interested in a bit of...Stan Laurel's character.

But things take a turn for the worse when the captain's wife (Anita Garvin) appears on the ship, having finally caught up with her wayward husband.

She finds her husband canoodling in the cabin with Willie, and naturally, isn't best pleased.

 

Willie's plans to land the captain in hot water have worked, and he tells the wronged wife that the captain had reassured him that he was single.

The wife pulls a gun out on her husband, only for an elated Willie to be told that he's next on her hit list!

It's at this point that Willie takes off the wig and reveals that he is a man. He lies and tells the captain's wife that this was all a test to see if she really loved her husband.

The captain threatens Willie, so Willie is forced to take drastic action. Running to the apartment, he frees Nelly, telling the captain's wife that four other women were aboard earlier!

The incensed wife is handed a gun from Willie, and she approaches her husband. Nelly and Willie take the opportunity to escape.

Peering out of the porthole, the captain's wife fires her gun at the young couple, blowing off their clothes in the process and leaving them in their underwear!

 

Review

"So that's why you dumped your wife at the last port!"

 

"Why Girls Love Sailors" has the distinct privilege of being the first "Laurel and Hardy" film reviewed on this blog. You were probably expecting "Sons of the Desert" or "Way out West". Well, sorry to disappoint! I could have thrown you a bigger curveball and reviewed "A-Haunting We Will Go", but I didn't. But I will at some point. Maybe next time? Who knows?

But, seriously, I really like "Why Girls Love Sailors."

Just as girls don't really love sailors in this film, this silent but spirited short has probably been underappreciated by even the saltiest of sea-dogs (read: big fans) who have been a part of the good ship Laurel and Hardy since their maiden voyage onto VHS tape.

So why do I like the film so much?

I could lie and tell you that it's because the film stars that gorgeous silent siren Viola Richard, surely one of the greatest actresses to work in silent film. Ok, I admit it; I lied about lying. I do think that Viola Richard is an important part of contributing to the film's success, but there are many others reasons why I enjoy this nautical romp...

...which I'll get to in a while. For now, let me tell you about Viola Richard's performance as vivacious, nautical Nelly.

 

The chances are, if you're reading this, that you've seen a fair few Laurel and Hardy films, dear reader. I'll even go so far as to suggest, dear old reader, that you've seen a decent number, if not all of the Hal Roach Laurel and Hardy silent films.

The chances are, dear reader, dear reader, that you know of the terrific presence that Viola Richard commands on film. Despite the fact that you do know that fact, I'm going to reiterate that fact to you once again. Fact yourself lucky. 

In my opinion, of all the ladies working for Hal Roach during the silent era, few come close to the performances given by Viola. Hal Roach had some wonderful actresses working for him in the late 20s. Dorothy Coburn, Edna Marion - both good actresses. But Viola Richard is a great actress. I'm in no way qualified to write about the fundamentals of acting in silent films, but to me, watching Viola Richard in her work for Hal Roach is like watching a master class in how to perform a variety of emotions and passions without talking.

 

When you watch Viola Richard on screen, at any point in a silent film, you can tell exactly what emotions her character is experiencing. Her facial expressions are key for conveying such passions, with smiles, frowns, etc.

 

"Sure!" I hear you write - we're writing about a silent after all, so I can't hear you say the word aloud - "but surely any actor worth their salt can convey passions and emotions, otherwise they wouldn't be, well, acting".

 

True. But Viola had that great gift of talking through her eyes.

 

Do you know what I mean? Watch Dorothy Coburn and Edna Marion act. (I'll give you a minute or two, don't worry, I'll still be here). Then watch Viola act. Dorothy and Edna aren't acting with their eyes, are they?

 

There's something about Viola's eyes that makes her a terrific actor, isn't there?

 

 

Funnily enough, Anita Garvin also has the gift of conveying meaning through her eyes, as, of course, does the Queen of silent cinema, Clara Bow. But fast-forward to the Hal Roach talkies when you have great actresses like Thelma Todd and Mae Busch starring in films, and, I don't know, the eye magic that people like Viola had has gone. Perhaps because you don't need eye magic in talkies.

 

Cutting my gibberish short, watch Viola Richard in this film - just watch her, even when other characters are with her on screen - and hopefully you'll appreciate what I've taken a long time to say: She is a terrific silent film star.

 

So, yes. Viola Richard is a big part of why I love sailors (in the context of this film, of course).

 

As Willie's girlfriend, Nelly is sweet, beautiful and loving. But she's also not afraid to fight - she'll kick your ass, as I always say to my American chums. Just watch her take out the chump who tries to mess with her on board the Merry Maiden.

 

 

Anita Garvin is also brilliant as the wronged wife - feisty and with a ferocious temper, she clearly wears the pants in their relationship. Her no nonsense feistiness gets some good gags in "Why Girls Love Sailors", particularly when she lamps Oliver Hardy right on the chin! Ouch!

A pre-team film, Oliver Hardy has quite a minor role. Nevertheless, he takes numerous bumps to the head with his what would later become classic "Hardy" fashion, and the scenes where he throws most of the crew overboard are hilarious. Hardy is also in top form when he flirts with Stan in drag. Getting touchy feely with one another, the amorous first mate even slaps the backside of his would be paramour! The comedy is all the funnier when he believes that Stan-in-drag is coming back onto the ship, and strokes his idol's leg, only to find out it's the stern faced wife of the captain!

The film, essentially, is a wonderful showcase for Stan Laurel's talents. He is perfectly goofy as Willie Brisling in the early parts of the film; stupidly gawky, but loveable, nonetheless. He has the cheekiness to peck Viola Richard on the cheek after giving her a present, but also has the trademark Laurel silliness - try watching the scene where Laurel rolls around on his bed - that is hard to watch without laughing.

Laurel's the loveable hero in this film, and you feel pity for him as he gets bullied by the captain and is reduced to tears. He takes a beating, but picks himself up again, and sets off after Nelly. Watching Stan creep around the deck with his jumper pulled-up over his head is great fun.

And, come on! Stan does make a good woman! How can you not laugh at Laurel making a hash of being a femme fatale?! The way that Willie dispatches the amorous sailors is hilarious - including sticking his tongue out at the first mate - and flirting with the captain to rescue Nelly is a fine moment of comedy indeed.

And Stan's character in this film - Willie Brisling - genius! You got it, didn't you? Little Sprat? No, no, I'm not calling you a little sprat, a brisling is a sprat.

The icing on the cake is the surprise ending, with an angry Anita Garvin blowing the pants of Viola and Stan - I didn't see that coming the first time I watched the film!

All in all, this film probably won't be one of your contenders for the "best" Laurel and Hardy silent film. But it is a charming gag-filled romp that is eminently watchable, and like all good comedy, doesn't take itself too seriously.

What are your thoughts on "Why Girls Love Sailors" (as in the film, not actual sailors...)?

Are you as much of a fan of Viola Richard as I am, or is it just me?

 

Watch it

"The wretch! He told me he was practically single!"

 

"Why Girls Love Sailors" is available on DVD as part of Universal's Laurel and Hardy Collection. It is on Disc 16 - Maritime Adventures.

 

Here's the link: Laurel and Hardy Collection DVD

 

Film #2 - Million Dollar Legs (1932)

 

 

Starring Jack Oakie, W. C. Fields, Andy Clyde and Lyda Roberti. 

Featuring Susan Fleming, Ben Turpin, Hugh Herbert, George Barbier and Dickie Moore.

Directed by Edward Cline.

 

Synopsis

"What's his name?"
"I call him 'Sweetheart'"

 

 

 



The film is set in the fictional country of Klopstokia, which considers goats and nuts as its chief exports. In fact, like the titles above suggest, you could also say that Klopstokia is populated by goats and nuts. You see, everyone is descended from goats (goats are the national emblem) and everyone is a little bit crazy. Just to give you one idea - all men in Klopstokia are named George, and all women, Angela... 

Jack Oakie plays Migg Tweeny, a brush salesman, who bumps straight into...Angela...(Susan Fleming). The pair instantly fall in love just as soon as they hit the dirt. This particular Angela is the President of Klopstokia's daughter.

It just so happens that the President of Klopstokia (W. C. Fields) is in trouble - the country is $8,000,000 in debt, and his cabinet are desperate to overthrow him. Salvation seems to be in sight when Migg Tweeny attempts to ask the President for his daughter's hand in marriage. After initially proving hostile towards Migg, the President is impressed by Migg's wizard-like personality and decides to hire him as Privy Councillor to solve the country's financial problems. Migg's reward will be that he will gain the President's consent to marry Angela.

Migg's solution to Klopstokia's massive debt is that the country should enter the Olympic games of 1932, held in Los Angeles, and win a shedload of money after cleaning up - you could say, sweeping up - on the medals front.

At the same time, in their secret underground lair, the cabinet ministers meet to discuss how to sabotage Klopstokia's entry in the Olympic games and thwart Migg. They decide to enlist the help of a spy - Mata Machree, the woman no man can resist (Lyda Roberti) - to seduce the entire team of Klopstokian athletes.

The entire cabinet pay her a visit to check out her seductive powers, and Mata agrees to help them.

Meanwhile, Migg sets about his task of recruiting Klopstokian athletes for the games - a task which takes him no time at all - and the whole gang set sail for Los Angeles. On board the boat, Mata Machree interferes with the athletes' training, swearing to each man that she loves him above all men.

On board the train to Los Angeles, the Secretary of the Treasury (Hugh Herbert) is concerned that Mata's involvement with the athletes on the boat has increased morale, rather than sabotage Klopstokia's chances in the games. Mata reassures him that her grand plan to butcher the hopes of Klopstokia will come to a conclusion at dinner that evening...

It does! The jealous athletes beat the heck out of each other, ruining their chances of competing in the games...

The wounded athletes of Klopstokia - lovesick for Mata Machree - can do nothing in the games, even with coach Migg's pep talk. It's down to Angela to go and fight Mata (winning a medal for diving in the process) and drag the beaten spy along to the Klopstokian dressing-room so that she can confess that she didn't love any of the athletes. With their pride restored, the Klopstokian athletes go out and clean up at the games, leaving Migg bristling with happiness.

The finale sees the President go head-to-head with the Secretary of the Treasury in a weight-lifting contest. Despite Mata's attempts to inspire the Secretary of the Treasury, the President wins, also winning a medal for the shot-put, which means that Klopstokia wins the games! 
 

Review

"Line-up, suckers!"

 

"Million Dollar Legs" is an utterly bonkers film. It's stark, raving bonkers with a capital "B", which means that there are plenty of laughs to be had when watching. If you haven't seen the film before, I guarantee that there will be several moments during your first watch where you'll be unable to stop yourself from laughing. It's a film that doesn't take itself too seriously, whilst at the same time, is fully aware that it is just one film in a sea of several hundred, and it plays to that knowledge frequently.

 

What do I mean by this? Has the Klopstokian bug taken me and I'm purely writing nonsensical dialogue? No! One fine example of the film's bonkerssness (new word) is it's successful parodying of conventional elements featured in many a film from the 20s and 30s - heck - even from the birth of cinema. What I'm talking about is love. Sure, Jack Oakie and Susan Fleming are the young, romantic leads in this utterly crazy film, but they seem self-consciously aware that this is their billing and the writers have them play up to it every time they are on screen. The dialogue between the pair is at times unconnected and seemingly ignored - for example, Migg's declaration of "I love you" nearly every time that the pair appear on screen together is rarely answered by Angela. Never before in a film has "I love you" got such repeated laughs.

 

Such flat disregard for the spoken word by the characters in "Million Dollar Legs" makes it such a side-achingly funny film - just watch the scene where the President attempts to employ Migg as his Privy Councillor - there's a three-way conversation taking place where the President's words are totally ignored by the young lovers!  

 

 

But at other times, dialogue is used to create moments of intimacy and meaningful connections between characters - sometimes they even listen to what other people are saying. One such example is when the President asks his daughter what her boyfriend is called. She replies that she calls him "Sweetheart", so, naturally, the President refers to Migg as "Sweetheart" throughout the whole film. Migg even signs notes as from "Sweetheart" when he writes to "Pres" - his pet name for his prospective father-in-law - but there is one occasion when Migg chastises "Pres" for calling him "Sweetheart", suggesting that "people are talking"...

 

 

But after moments of hilarious clarity where characters start acting as "real" people, come more scenes where characters forget all sense of purpose and rationality. For example, Migg accidentally drops the musical score to an old Klopstokian love song written on the skin of Angela's dead grandfather into a lake (don't ask), only for Angela to perform a perfect dive off the bridge that they are standing on into the water, to rescue the beloved music. This is at the point when Migg is recruiting athletes for the Olympic games, and comically, it never crosses his mind that Angela should go in for the diving at the games! Perhaps he's too busy being distracted by his conscious verbalisation of the insincerity of declaring heterosexual love to another in just three words: "I love you"?!

 

In a typical non-linear fashion then, such as is befitting "Million Dollar Legs", let me now return to the start of the film. The title music features some of the funkiest hotcha sounds around - I'm still speaking near incomprehensible gibberish in the spirit of the film - and by the way, I might have said this before, but, I love you...

 

OK, back to normality for the rest of the review and leaving metatheatrical japes aside, "Million Dollar Legs" works so well as an eccentric comedy thanks to its excellent script and stunning cast. There are so many great names in this film and all of them have memorable and hilarious scenes. So many things to talk about!

 

I'm still puzzled by the title of the film, however. Then again, I'm puzzled easily, and it seems the very spirit of the film to give you a title with very little direct meaning. Still, if I stand to be corrected I'll delete this sentence, but my ignorance will surely remain timeless. "Million Dollar Legs"....hmmmm......nope, it's not obvious what possible content in the film could in some way be related to the title.

 

 

Does it refer to the President's daughter, Angela, for her contribution towards winning the much needed money for Klopstokia? After her diving success - where she shows off her legs - could her pins be the titular money-making legs?? Could the million dollar legs refer to the Major Domo's (Andy Clyde), who is indeed speedy on foot and a central part of the Klopstokian athletic team?? I'm probably clutching at legs, I mean, straws here when I ponder whether it could be Mata Machree's hams that are so highly valued, seeing as she will help the cabinet overthrow Pres. as no man can resist her (legs)?? We never actually hear her fee for working for the cabinet - perhaps it's a million dollars?

 

Whew! So what makes this film so funny? Well, first of all, the mysterious spy character, played by the great Ben Turpin, garners lots of laughs with his ability to pop up everywhere, as indicated below:

 

 

W. C. Fields is hilarious. Whether it's juggling with bowling ball pins or weightlifting - using the Major Domo as his weight to lift up and down - Fields is in top form. All the time he's trying to prevent his bitter cabinet from overthrowing him, there are some great comic moments. Overthrowing in this instance literally means throwing the president over your shoulder, thereby dethroning him from his seat and taking his power for yourself!

 

 

Jack Oakie is similarly goofy as Migg, throwing himself around and taking a few bumps along the way. Susan Fleming and Jack Oakie are an excellent double-team, and there's even a nice joke that both share concerning Clara Bow! Migg reveals to Angela and Pres.: "I have -it-", to which Angela replies "You don't look -it-, but I'm sure you have", surely a reference to the original 20's It-girl, Clara??

 

The Cabinet of Klopstokia are also perfect. One of the best moments in the film, in my opinion, is when the cabinet go to visit Mata Machree. Led by the Secretary of the Treasury (Hugh Herbert), the Secretary of State (Sam Adams), Secretary of Interior (Billy Gilbert) Secretary of Agriculture (Vernon Dent), Secretary of Labour (John Sinclair), Secretary of War (Teddy Hart), and bringing up the rear, the Secretary of the Navy (Irving Bacon), the cabinet pay a visit to Mata's house in a scene full of innuendo.

 

 

The gorgeous, sultry, sizzling, scorching, searing hot Lyda Roberti is excellent as the woman no man can resist. Elegantly descending the staircase to the tune of Land of Hope and Glory (!?!?!), the cabinet are star struck by her revealing dress. When she gets hot, she really gets hot! Her song and dance routine wows the cabinet - the Secretary of Agriculture's heart flutters noticeably against his chest, as they all stand mesmerised and speechless by her hotness.

 

 

For an example of Mata's power that is testament to her tambourine like torso, check out the Secretary of the Interior's (Billy Gilbert) reaction below:

 

 

 

Mata's song is deliciously risqué: "When I start to dance, the fire hoses start to prance, and now the whole department, wears asbestos pants!"

 

Prancing fire hoses?!? Oo-er!

 

Lyda Roberti is perfect as the femme fatale and she has an excellent chase around the Olympic stadium swimming pool with Angela. Lyda Roberti also takes a -huge- slap to the face from Susan Fleming!

 

 

 

Ouch! That must have hurt! 

 

So what are my other favourite comedy moments in the film?

 

Andy Clyde as the Major Domo almost steals the show with his exploits dressed as a goat; Fields and Herbert exercising against the same wall on-board the ship also ends with side-splittingly funny disastrous consequences; and one of my favourite moments is when Fields can't unlock the door of his office to call out to "Sweetheart", so he punches the glass out of the window rather than find the key. Also, look out for Billy Gilbert's sneezes - they're testament to what a great comic actor he was. Finally, it was great to see Hal Roach stalwart star Charlie Hall pop up in one of his trademark cameo roles - this time as a Klopstokian athlete in love with Mata Machree.

 

 

 

The film ends in typical screwball fashion. Pres. has proved his strength by defeating the ringleader of his rioting cabinet, only for his new benefactor to steal the show. Migg's boss, the rich Mr Baldwin (George Barbier) shakes hands with the President, throwing him over and onto the ground in the process. Lying flat on the ground, Klopstokia may have got out of debt, but its President isn't out of the water yet. He hasn't got a leg to stand on. Even if he's now worth millions.

 

 

Well, that was a quick tour of Klopstokia! I haven't obsessed over every scene in this film; to do so would rather spoil the fun of watching it, so on that note, I suggest that you go and watch/re-watch it. It's a charming film that is still hilariously funny and even fresh in 2016.

 

What's your favourite moment in "Million Dollar Legs"?

 

Watch it

"Madame is only resisted from 2 - 4 in the afternoon"

 

Go on! Don't resist! "Million Dollar Legs" is available on DVD as part of the Turner Classic Movies range from Universal.

 

Here's the link: Million Dollar Legs

 

 

Film #1 - Beauty and the Bus (1933)

 

Starring Thelma Todd and Patsy Kelly.

 

Featuring Don Barclay, Eddie Baker, and Tiny Sanford.

 

Directed by Gus Meins.

 

Synopsis

"What, again? And you promised me you'd be careful"

 

 



Thelma and Patsy have purchased tickets to enter a prize draw. The lucky winner will become the owner of a ducky new car. After a young boy  (Tommy Bond) from the audience has picked the lucky ticket, the master of the ceremony (Robert McKenzie) reveals the winning number is 108. A disgruntled Patsy rips up her tickets that Thelma - so kindly - let her hold.

 

 

The bumbling MC was holding the lucky ticket upside down, so the winning ticket is in fact 801 - one of the tickets that Patsy was holding! After much writhing around on the floor to pick up the shreds of the golden ticket, Patsy and Thelma go up on stage to gratefully accept their prize, only for Patsy to slip. Falling down, Patsy manages to rip off the MC's trousers, revealing his penchant for rather fruity underwear!

 

 

As the proud owners of the car, Thelma and Patsy go for a spin in their new ride, only to be harassed by a policeman (Eddie Baker) thanks to Patsy's encouragements to see how fast the car can go. Thelma uses all of her wiles to get out of being on the receiving end of a ticket, which Patsy soon undoes...

 

The girls carry on, only to be rear-ended when attempting to park. The resulting knock sends their car straight into the front of another car (driven by Don Barclay). Don is not happy that the girls have damaged his car, but Patsy makes things worse by deciding to rip one of the headlights off his car.

 

The ensuing tit-for-tat eventually involves Tiny Sanford, who is told by Thelma that Don Barclay started all the trouble. Tiny then sets about smashing up Thelma's car (mistakenly believing it to be Don's car), only for a seething Patsy to start throwing an assortment of household items from off of Tiny's van into the street...

 

By now, not much is left of the girl's car, and they need to push it all the way home. Getting to a hill, the car runs away from them straight into a lake. As Thelma and Patsy gaze upon the waters wistfully, Don Barclay appears, intent on seeking redress for the wrongs done to him. Thelma and Patsy respond by throwing him in the water.

 

The film ends with Thelma trundling along in Barcaly's car, as an out-of-breath Patsy tries unsuccessfully to hitch a ride with her pal.

 

Review

"What do I get? Magnolia"

 

"Beauty and the Bus" was the first short in the Todd/Kelly series after Zasu Pitts's departure. Personally, I think the film is a great showcase for the Todd/Kelly series, and the remarkable slapstick-ability of 23 year old Patsy Kelly.

 

There's something about Kelly that you can't help but love; she's fiery and spunky to boot, and in many ways, I get the impression that she steals the limelight from her established co-star, Todd, in this film.

 

Sure, Todd looks as glamorous as ever as the picture begins, but it's Kelly hurling herself down to the floor after slipping on a child's roller-skate that gives the viewer the first laugh of the film. And her feistiness is evident from the moment that she gets up tangled in tickets, putting Charlie Hall in his place for calling her "Madame" along the way. What I call the 'Kelly Scowl' is key to obtaining that feistiness and self-assurance - there's no mumbled "Oh dear" ala Zasu, this woman doesn't need Thelma to bail her out; she can look after herself!

 

But as you might already know, Kelly's self-assurance of "don't mess with me" just so happens to get Thelma in more trouble than it ought to.

 

Patsy clumsiness and ability to attract trouble (and cause a fight wherever she goes) might grate Thelma to the extreme - just look at Thelma's expression when they finally get to their seats in the theatre - but it does add for terrific comedy. The Kelly aggression is the kind of aggression that you want to encourage - for example, the old fool with his feet on the back of Patsy's chair - why doesn't he put his feet where they belong?! The viewer often sides with Patsy in such moments, and when she turns round to address the man's insult, you half expect, half want her to lamp him one as he cowers away from her. That's the Kelly spirit!

The moments before the draw for the car takes place also reveals another side to the Todd/Kelly partnership - that of "tough love". For all Kelly's brashness, it's evident that she cares a great deal about her partner, even if Todd is only ever lukewarm to her "pal" in this film. The pet names that Kelly creates for Todd - "I'm your palsy-walsy, toots" indicate the warmth of friendship on one side of the relationship, even if all Kelly gets from Todd is "magnolia" - nothing.

The manager of the theatre (Robert McKenzie) adds some great comedy with his somewhat creepy character, awkwardness, and absentmindedness - even nervousness - as he is belittled by the little boy who comes up to draw out the ticket. If the little boy is "young America", he's certainly "old America".

When the winning ticket is announced, it's hilarious to see the joy on Thelma's face compared with Patsy's cross-eyed look of horror. Near fainting - and for once, stuck for words - there's nothing else for Thelma to do but shove her friend on the floor to get searching for that lucky ticket that has been ripped up! And the viewer can have a good laugh as Patsy squirms around on the floor, telling "big boy" to "call off his dog" - his big foot - in the process.

The climax of the gag is also nice, and even unexpected, with Patsy stumbling up onto the stage, slipping, and pulling down the manager's trousers in the process. From her seat within the barrel, complete with lollipop in hand, and the familiar Kelly Scowl evident, you know that there's going to be a lot more mishap in this short...

I find the next scene, with Todd and Kelly in their new car, to be filled with some great comedic touches. The ecstatic looking Kelly and the edgy looking Todd have some funny verbal sparring, and Thelma even receives quite a whack across the chest thanks to "girl scout Kelly."

When pulled over by the policeman (Eddie Baker), Todd is on top form when playing the part of the flirt. Hearing Eddie Baker ask, "Where's the fire?", only for Thelma to reply, "In your eyes you great big gorgeous policeman" always makes me snort laugh. If this policeman can't tell that he's being had then he's stupider than he looks *nods*.

And the look on Thelma's face when he walks away...priceless!

But of course, there's no getting away from trouble with Kelly around, and when the sap -policeman- pardon me friends, pardon me, loses his book, it's a treat to hear him lambasted by an irate Patsy. "It's men like him that make it unsafe for sweet little girls like me."

The car crash scene, with an "insipid" Don Barclay is wonderful. In many respects, his character makes this scene so successful, as he's easily dominated by both Thelma and Patsy (and then Tiny Sanford). He strikes me of the Wilde-an bohemian, and appears a man fascinated by language (even if his use of it confuses and irritates Thelma and Patsy), and a man totally unable to stand up to massive Tiny Sanford.

And do I spot Charley Chase in the background (when Patsy is about to stomp on Don Barclay's car's bodywork)?

The ensuing Tit-for-Tat is marvellous slapstick, with Kelly admirably battling "King Kong" herself by launching chairs down to the road below. You have to hope that the returning Officer Baker's threat to hang whoever caused the ruckus is an empty threat...because Patsy's retort, "who wants to make something out of it" would mean that the odds wouldn't look good for Baker!

At first, I thought that the girls pushing their car down a hill where it speeds away into a nearby lake, was a trifle predictable - but still funny - and how does Kelly run so quickly in those heels?! - but to have Don Barclay appear and be the victim of the first time that Todd and Kelly work together successfully to accomplish something, well, that was a funny moment indeed.

And you can't help feeling sorry for Patsy at the end, her futile cries of "how's about it, palsy-walsy?" fall on deaf - or fed-up - ears, as Thelma speeds away in Don's car that they've stolen. "Oh, toots!"

I like "Beauty and the Bus" - Todd and Kelly have a good on-screen chemistry that compliments both characters that they play. It's just a funny short; short, sweet, but feisty. 

 

Watch it

"Quiet! Quiet! Pipe down! Pipe down!"

 

"Beauty and the Bus" is available on DVD, beautifully restored by the German Filmmuseum as part of their "Female Comedy Teams" set.

 

Here's the link: Female Comedy Teams DVD